The Gist of It: Making the theoretical / data-driven / joyful case for relationships
The What and the Why
Let’s start with an uncomfortable truth: Relationships are hard. Period. That’s not to say they should be painful and entirely unpleasant. But partnering with another human being who has a unique set of needs / wants / desires / preferences / issues, who inhabits a different body with a different perspective and a different family and a different set of life experiences — well, it’s a wonder anyone ever partners in the first place. That’s how challenging it can be to sync all of those variables into some sort of semi-harmonious working order. So, yes, relationships are hard. But as we began discussing last month in the first part of this two-part series, dating is a worthy pursuit because it leads to relationships, and relationships (as the data below will show) make a big, positive difference in our lives.
So, assuming you agree on the necessity of dating to get to the relationship part, you might then find yourself partnered and wonder: Wasn’t finding the person the hard part? Shouldn’t this next phase come naturally? Shouldn’t I just know how to have a relationship? Is there something wrong with me for feeling so inept? Why does my relationship seem more complicated / troublesome than all these seemingly perfect couples around me?
The answer, of course, is no, you shouldn’t just know how to do this, there’s nothing wrong with you for not innately knowing, and other people’s relationships are every bit as messy — they just hide it well.
Relationship Data
(All of this comes from Pew Research in the last 5 years and is focused on the U.S.)
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