Making a list is a good idea. I think it helps people stop the act of comparing themselves to someone else to judge if they are happy.
I don’t think you can chase happiness. Media has put forward an image that if things don’t make you feel good all the time, then something is wrong. Your recommendations remind people to appreciate the small things they have control over that invite happiness to come in and cozy up.
Media make it complicated when really it’s the small stuff that humans crave. We’re like cranky babies who don’t know how to soothe ourselves. Mommy or daddy make us dry, warm us up, feed us, rock us to sleep, or entertain us. We’re pretty simple and forget that as adults we have to do this for ourselves.
We forget that we need the vicissitudes of life. Peaks and valleys make life richer, more complex, more meaningful. The discomfort often leads to a breakthrough.
I recently learned of a fascinating study, which found the genetic expression of individuals experiencing grief is the same as that of people who report high levels of hedonic happiness, but low levels of meaning in their lives.
The genes expressed for these groups are meant to protect a person from bacterial infections, or illness that can occur in adversity and isolation, but the genetic expression of those who report highly meaningful lives, regardless of happiness, are protected from viruses, or illnesses you're most likely to get when being social and living in community.
As you point out, Anna, your happiness list can't be fulfilled by more money or success, but it is rich with meaning.
So fascinating! I’m curious if they have also looked at the individuals who die of a “broken heart” - our health is so interconnected to how we feel in relation to others.
I didn't read of a correlation with broken heart syndrome, however, knowing it's induced by stress hormones, and knowing isolation also increases stress hormone production, I can see how it's all part of the social web.
I haven't read those yet, thank you for bringing them to my attention! I agree, reading about death is so life-affirming.
Making a list is a good idea. I think it helps people stop the act of comparing themselves to someone else to judge if they are happy.
I don’t think you can chase happiness. Media has put forward an image that if things don’t make you feel good all the time, then something is wrong. Your recommendations remind people to appreciate the small things they have control over that invite happiness to come in and cozy up.
Media make it complicated when really it’s the small stuff that humans crave. We’re like cranky babies who don’t know how to soothe ourselves. Mommy or daddy make us dry, warm us up, feed us, rock us to sleep, or entertain us. We’re pretty simple and forget that as adults we have to do this for ourselves.
We forget that we need the vicissitudes of life. Peaks and valleys make life richer, more complex, more meaningful. The discomfort often leads to a breakthrough.
I recently learned of a fascinating study, which found the genetic expression of individuals experiencing grief is the same as that of people who report high levels of hedonic happiness, but low levels of meaning in their lives.
The genes expressed for these groups are meant to protect a person from bacterial infections, or illness that can occur in adversity and isolation, but the genetic expression of those who report highly meaningful lives, regardless of happiness, are protected from viruses, or illnesses you're most likely to get when being social and living in community.
As you point out, Anna, your happiness list can't be fulfilled by more money or success, but it is rich with meaning.
So fascinating! I’m curious if they have also looked at the individuals who die of a “broken heart” - our health is so interconnected to how we feel in relation to others.
Also, if you didn’t see it, I think you would really enjoy the two very different books about death that I talked about in the recent edition of My Current Cultural diet - would love to hear your thoughts if you read them: https://open.substack.com/pub/annaakbari/p/the-living-dead-apocalyptic-catharsis?r=9a758&utm_medium=ios
I didn't read of a correlation with broken heart syndrome, however, knowing it's induced by stress hormones, and knowing isolation also increases stress hormone production, I can see how it's all part of the social web.
I haven't read those yet, thank you for bringing them to my attention! I agree, reading about death is so life-affirming.
Judge nothing, we will be happy. Forgive everything and we will be happier. Love everything and we will be happiest.
There is no path to happiness. Happiness is the path. Buddha.