Great article. I really appreciate your ability to boil down your PhD dissertation into a 5-point framework! I have been thinking about these issues for decades (sociology major in college, now in academic medicine), especially when I consciously and laboriously got dressed and ready for surgical residency interviews - ABSOLUTELY distinguished compliance. Look attractive enough to get the benefits of being attractive but not so much that anyone would remember you were particularly attractive. Wear a boring, dark gray (but perfectly fitted and flattering) skirt suit. And absolutely agree that whether you're thinking about your clothes or not, everyone else is.
Thanks, Kristen. Academia and medicine are two fields where I think any acknowledgement that you're "trying" aesthetically is almost frowned upon, and yet (of course) it still matters. It's all about the nuances...
I was nodding my head at distinguished compliance as a concept. I'm a short old lady, have a pooch, wear comfy clothes ...fit all the stereotypes of a woman my age appearancewise. Then I colored my hair magenta. And I get random compliments from strangers, male and female, young and old. It's as if I'm actually seen as an individual again. Thanks for this article. I earned a PhD in sociology decades ago and am familiar with Goffman's work.
Enjoyed the article, just wanted to make the point that many liberal women (like me, while abhorring the Fascist Barbie aesthetic, are interested in fashion & makeup. And might even sport what I've read are called "mermaid curls". A term I prefer over the one used by the writer. So many social media "conversations" seem to present this as a binary choice. We'll have evolved as a society only when people stop proscribing what women should look/act like. And what they may or may not do with their bodies.
Love the term distinguished compliance. I was also reminded of the idea that parents should dress their children in Sunday best the first week of school. Teachers perceive the better dressed as smarter and more well behaved and speak to them differently. They do it unconsciously.
I also think we ourselves behave differently not only when we “dress up” (or dress consciously) but pay attention to personal grooming details. Like adding polish to the whole package.
Great article. I really appreciate your ability to boil down your PhD dissertation into a 5-point framework! I have been thinking about these issues for decades (sociology major in college, now in academic medicine), especially when I consciously and laboriously got dressed and ready for surgical residency interviews - ABSOLUTELY distinguished compliance. Look attractive enough to get the benefits of being attractive but not so much that anyone would remember you were particularly attractive. Wear a boring, dark gray (but perfectly fitted and flattering) skirt suit. And absolutely agree that whether you're thinking about your clothes or not, everyone else is.
Thanks, Kristen. Academia and medicine are two fields where I think any acknowledgement that you're "trying" aesthetically is almost frowned upon, and yet (of course) it still matters. It's all about the nuances...
I was nodding my head at distinguished compliance as a concept. I'm a short old lady, have a pooch, wear comfy clothes ...fit all the stereotypes of a woman my age appearancewise. Then I colored my hair magenta. And I get random compliments from strangers, male and female, young and old. It's as if I'm actually seen as an individual again. Thanks for this article. I earned a PhD in sociology decades ago and am familiar with Goffman's work.
Thanks for sharing, Chris! Love that you found a way to distinguish yourself that is effective and feels true for you :)
Enjoyed the article, just wanted to make the point that many liberal women (like me, while abhorring the Fascist Barbie aesthetic, are interested in fashion & makeup. And might even sport what I've read are called "mermaid curls". A term I prefer over the one used by the writer. So many social media "conversations" seem to present this as a binary choice. We'll have evolved as a society only when people stop proscribing what women should look/act like. And what they may or may not do with their bodies.
Love the term distinguished compliance. I was also reminded of the idea that parents should dress their children in Sunday best the first week of school. Teachers perceive the better dressed as smarter and more well behaved and speak to them differently. They do it unconsciously.
I also think we ourselves behave differently not only when we “dress up” (or dress consciously) but pay attention to personal grooming details. Like adding polish to the whole package.
so true: "Clothes do not shut up." but it goes for everything - the cover IS the book!