Changing partners OR patterns? Health issues in relationships?

Hello! Today is the point in the month where we bridge theory with practice by applying our current Sociology of… Everything theme to your real-life issues: How can you take what we’ve explored in the Sociology of… Relationships and take action in your own life? Have a listen or read along with the transcript.

This first question comes from Mike in Amsterdam. 

I feel like nowadays we see relationships as something 'fun' and almost like entertainment. What if you are having long term health issues and your life is not fun all the time? Would it be a good idea to still pursue a relationship? And how would you even go about that? I still feel like I have value to give at the moment, even if I have a few very difficult things to overcome, too. Like they say: those who are hardest to love often need it the most.

Thank you, Mike, for sharing (and thank you also for your excellent addition to our Relationship Anthems playlist — everyone else, submit yours here! I’ll share it next week.) I hope my thoughts on your situation will prove valuable.

The next question is from Sierra in Austin. She asks: 

I’ve been with my partner for five years now. We’re long past the honeymoon phase. We don’t fight that much, but when we do, I just don’t feel like we understand each other. It quickly gets contentious and bitter, so, ultimately, we just give up and talk less, which creates disconnection. I love him, but maybe I’m just with the wrong person. Or maybe we’re “doing it wrong.” I don’t know. Is it time to move on? 

This is a dilemma that so many couples face: determining if it’s the “wrong” person or merely a failure to communicate. Pulling from my conversation with Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, I offer a path toward clarity. Let me know what you think.

Something to add to this advice? Or have a Sociology of… Relationships question that didn’t get submitted in time? Post it in the comments.

Submit your Relationship Anthems, a question about the Sociology of… the Body, or an AMA or Bonus! article suggestion.